Changes

Some of us mothers just walk through life going with the notions. We are doing the same thing every day that we are used to doing. Why?…. might you ask? Well, because it works and why change something that works. Then one day, life throws a huge curve ball your way and suddenly you are knocked on your bottom clueless. Some of us are fortunate to never have that ball thrown your way, others (like me) are not so lucky. I got that ball thrown right at my feet and it knocked me down. While I was down, I said self “What the eff are you gonna do now?” I consider myself pretty tough, but the feeling I had after the blow made me feel far from it.
Now you may be asking at this point…what happen that was so bad. The answer- Divorce. Single mama hood here I come. Here I am, doing the same things I do everyday…just alone. Nothing causes chaos more than your foundation being ripped from under your feet and you find yourself trying to rebuild something that was once sturdy. It is then I realized I could not do it alone. So I asked myself again- “Self….what the eff are you gonna do?” I thought…well Christians are nice people, and seem to have good lives. God sounds like a pretty cool guy. I guess I should hand my life over to God whole heartedly and see where it goes. So I did. I found myself at the church in front of everyone being dipped into some icy water that was going to wash the old away and let me start a new beginning. I felt a little different after too. I looked the same…and the water didn’t wash my acne away….but I had a feeling of peace. Peace is a good thing to have -Especially when you find yourself in a not so ideal situation. From this point on I have to look at what I do have and not dwell on what I don’t. I am going to look forward to the future and not reminisce on what could have been. Most of all, I am going to be the best mom and woman I can be. Not only for myself, but my amazing son who deserves nothing less.