My charming three year old son

I typically am the mom that says "Oh my kid would never" or "Oh, my son has never done anything like that". I admit...it probably is annoying to hear. After today!, I have taken my son off the "Oh my kid would never" list.

Preston and I laid down for a nap together. We were all snuggled in. I set the alarm for one hour so that we would not over sleep. We were cozy. Shortly after laying down, I fell asleep. Preston did not. He decided to go play in his room which is right next to mine. I woke up maybe five minutes later and see Preston in the bathroom standing on his potty doing something in the mirror. I thought it was a make up brush. I said "What are you doing?" and Preston jumped. He runs into my room and says " I found this in my toy box mommy!" I could not believe my eyes. Preston was covered in red marker. Not any red marker...a red sharpie.

Now if anyone knows me they know I like a clean house. I am cleaning all the time. I despise dust, I love freshly vacuumed carpet, and I clean my floors daily. I am a cleaning machine. Watching my three year old covered in sharpie goes against every clean rule in the house and I cringed.

I got up to go into the bathroom and could not believe my eyes. Not only was it all over Preston, it was on the white trim, the white doors, his white toy box, the tile counter, tile floor, it was everywhere. I instantly started laughing. I have never laughed so hard. It wasn't a "Oh this is funny" kind of laugh...it was more like...I don't know what else to do or what emotion to have so I am just going to start laughing.

I took all of Prestons clothes off and put him in the shower. I got a Mr. Clean magic eraser and started scrubbing. I scrubbed everything so hard. I finally started to see light at the end of the tunnel when I checked on Preston and saw that it was kind of coming off his skin, and saw that the marker was pretty much off of everything else in the house. I told Preston I had a little more to clean and to stay in the shower with his toys and scrub a little more. I was on my last door to clean. I had the sponge so wet it was dripping everywhere. I grabbed an item out of the laundry basket in the laundry room to wipe up the drip. Once I wiped the door trim, I realized that what I grabbed was Prestons pants, and Prestons pants had poo on them. So now I have poo smeared all over the door trim. It was like two feet of poo smear. Now I have a kid in the shower yelling "Mommy, Im all done!" I have red sharpie on door trims, and now I have poo smeared on the trim as well.

I found myself just standing looking down the hall. I looked up and said " What is this". I heard Jesus say "This is patience, this is love, this is your life". I don't know if Jesus teaches people the same way he teaches me. I kind of think the guy has a sense of humor. "I am Jesus. Today, I am teaching Katie patience. I am planning to do this by having her three year old color himself and her whole house in red sharpie, then have her smear poo on the door too. The goal is to have her not freak out or say any bad words. I will allow her to call out for me for help if it is needed, I am actually planning her to do this, and I will then smile and tell her that she is really good at cleaning." Isn't Jesus great?

Anyways, everything is all clean. I passed the test. I didn't lose it. I didn't say any bad words. I laughed. I scrubbed and I hugged Preston. I am thankful for Mr. Clean Magic Erasers for being amazing and getting the sharpie erased and keeping my trim and doors white!. I am thankful for Seventh Generation Disinfectant spray for the poo I smeared. And thankful for Gain laundry detergent. Even after all that, I still love my charming three year old son.